hi!I'm Zhao Ziwen. I was a happy boy.BecauseI had a happy family.but,I'm very very sad now.Why?Because my dad isn't health. he drinks alcohol every day.he is angry every day.My mom is sad,too.So I grow up can't drink alcohol,I can't! I'm only 13 old,but I'm clever. I have a noble dream! I want go America!I want to go to havord!I'm confident!HaHa! My birthday is in July. I love building blocks.My favorite food is hamburger! I want have a look the world.The very very large world!

修改后：

Hi! I'm Zhao Ziwen.My birthday is in July. I love building blocks. My favorite food is hamburgers !

I was a happy boy b ecause I had a happy family. B ut I'm very very sad now.Why?Because my dad isn't healthy . H e drinks alcohol every day. H e is angry every day.My mom is sad,too. I won't drink alcohol when I grow up. I won't!

I'm only 13 years old, but I'm clever. I have a noble dream! I want to go to America!I want to go to Harvard ! I'm confident! HaHa!

I want have a look the world. The very very large world!

修改教师 ：Andy老师

六年级:赵子文